Vacations Without You

At Home

Sunday Night

April 29, 2001

Dear Darling Husband,

I am home, sitting on the bed, watching a program on the Shakers*. Remember our trips to Pleasant Hill, Kentucky? I think of them now and my memories of the village, of the sweet waitress we had three times in a row who told us "no tipping" or she would be fired. You asked if she had a pocket in her skirt under her apron and then gave her $3.00 with instructions for her boss to call us.

I missed you on all of the TOWA day trips, during meals and especially at night. My thoughts are always about you. I keep reliving our life together. I miss you so much.

I want you to know how much I appreciate our life together. You never picked on me, you treated me as your wife, not as a slow-witted person**. I guess I just took that for granted. Now I see how fortunate I was. Traveling with you was fun and we saw so many places. I miss that now. It just wasn't as much fun going somewhere without you and I know that can't change. No one can take your place. I am lost without you. You made my life worthwhile and meaningful. I love you so and I always will.

Norma

Notes:

* I used to joke that my parents were "into" Protestants cults of the 19th century, but it wasn't much of a joke and it was mostly true. Jim and Norma spent family vacations exploring The Shakers, Quakers, Mennonites, Amish, you name it. If there was a historical location with a Protestant group attached to it, they were there. And if there was a cookbook in the gift shop, Norma bought it.

** Norma was hardly slow-witted but she questioned herself and her abilities. Once, she confessed to me that during an argument, Jim told her she didn't have a sense of humor, which cut her to the quick and his words continued to her hurt her after his death. I guffawed and blurted, "Of course you have a sense of humor! If you hadn't, living with him would have been insufferable!" She tightened her grip on the steering wheel but turned her attention briefly from the road. "I wish I had told you that before. It was the worst thing your father ever said to me and I never knew what to say to him."